A Useful conversation: I have yet to be convinced that one modality of therapy is better than another. It is not unusual for potential clients to request a particular treatment. There are many: EMDR, CBT, DBT, EFT, Hakomi, Jungian, Freudian, Kleinian, Biodynamic, Object Relations, Rogerian, Gestalt, Mastersonian, Narrative, Social constructivist, Family systems, Psychosynthesis, Feminist, etc. I have learned a great deal from most of the theories that I studied, and currently I choose what approach seems most likely to provide clients with a “useful conversation”.
A therapeutic alliance: The research of Scott Miller PhD discovered that the extent to which the client feels understood and helped by the therapist is the secret to a successful therapy outcome. This “therapeutic alliance” allows therapy to be a safe place where you can escape the grip of the “false self” and know and express your true thoughts and feelings. In social interactions we sometimes – if not often – hide our “authentic selves” because we fear we will be – or we actually are – criticized, attacked or shamed. For some clients therapy may be the closest relationship they will ever have in their lives. All clients will get the most out of therapy if they are honest with their therapist about both themselves and how they feel about the treatment.
To Get Better: Haley reminds us that we “get better to get out” of therapy because it is, irrevocably, a “one up – one down” relationship. You reveal a great deal about yourself, the therapist always much less. You write the check, the therapist gets the money. The only way out of this “a-symmetrical” relationship is to “get better”: To develop the self-love and skills to successfully navigate daily life and relationships.